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Ah wish ah could quit yew

I stink at LJ.
Now that i dont work at a warehouse with tons of downtime, it is so hard to post. The App for my phone is awkward as hell...and overall i think that im more of a visual person. I have pretty much camped out at Instagram lately if you want to try a different platform yourselves my username is NAMASTE28

Sorry Lovelies!

I haven't done a post in so long! I'm sorry.
I've just had this sad sort apathy lately that I can't shake. How shameful.
I don't even know WHY.
I mean, I'm bummed about our finances and stuff...but I have to say, that's a sucky reason for me to be depressed about. It could be worse.
I'm making O.K. money with my new job, but Harlen ran into issues with the company that he sub-contracts for...they gave him so little work in October that it almost totally screwed us over. I paid for most of the rent for November and for a bunch of his car/insurance payments, which left me in the hole (overdraft). He's found a few other things for work on the side, but catching up sucks. We are SO not doing anything AT ALL for the holidays.
I don't care about gifts for mysef, but I love giving them, so it stinks that I "can't"
I'm out of supplies for making stuff too. :/
My job makes me super happy, so I'm O.K. when I'm there. A PLUS!!
But, anyway...that's about it for now.
Sorry friends. I love hearing about you, and I'm reading...sorry if I'm not commenting much either.
Keep moving, don't stop.
love, Jude

blue

not creating makes me feel completely insane.

sickie

OR, I would be sick if my immune system was strong enough to allow me to be.
That's the theory behind this wierdness I've been feeling.
All of my lymphnodes are swollen, especially the ones in my neck....those give me a choking feeling, almost like a panic attack.
My thyroid gland has been palpated and isn't suspect soooo it's probably "nat a tumah".
But I HAVE been ordered to start taking all of the complimentary treatment products for my adrenal fatigue. I'm hoping that once I get that support going then my brain will come back. For right now, fragmenting thoughts, and major memory loss and no retention are de rigueur.
Oh, and I could use my appetite back too.
This is a type of anorexia....loss of appetite. I eat, when I remember, and I enjoy it, but I'm rarely actually hungry. it sucks....I feel weak and shrimpy.
On the plus side, my boss is super impressed with me, despite my brain with holes. I'm super happy about that. :)

Feeling Better

Hey there LJ friends!

It's been a while (understatement). Mostly I just really dislike posting journal entries from my phone, they're awkward to type and format. LJ Mobile pretty much stinks. I'm at work right now, sooo HELLO PC.

So, I AM OUT OF STARBUCKS!!! Like, not working there anymore...that kind of out. For a while I had THREE jobs going there....until my body just stopped. It just refused to function anymore...Starbucks was starting to make me feel crazy back in July, but I decided to ignore it and carry on. So stoic. Things got very unbearable when the store manager made the decision to have me work in the Drive-Thru-DESPITE me telling her that was the last thing I wanted to do. It became daily panic attacks, total memory loss, zero appetite, headaches, and abdominal pain...all from stress. Yes, I was partly to blame as I found an AMAZING new job at a Kinesiology clinic (that's a whole other post) and I was working seven days a week. From the end of July on, I worked a total of 45 days with only four days off. I usually worked 12-14 hour days.
The one clinic that I worked at closed at the end of August, making it a little easier to work around two jobs, but by mid-September...I was done. I came down with a UTI (ucky) which did not respond to my normal, effective herbal treatments. It spread to my bladder, and finally to my right kidney, bringing a lovely close to a 14 hour workday, after which I took the bus 1 1/2 home and to the emergency room at the hospital. Mmmmhmmm. Thankfully, my friend, who is also my doctor came and sat there with me for five hours. I have the absolute BEST pictures from that hospital visit, I will try to add them in later.
The next day my doctor wrote me a letter to give to Starbucks, putting me on stress leave, effective immediately.
My new boss, who is wonderful in every way, treated my pain-tense muscles and declared that he was bringing me on full-time and Starbucks would just have to deal with a new limited availability.
That was that.
As a healer, Paul (my new boss) was utterly horrified at the state of my physical body, a solid example of the effects of stress.
Everything, since has been great. my infection was treated with heavy antibiotics (I was this close to being on IV antibiotics) and I started treating the adrenal fatigue with a combination of supplements. Menatally, I'm not so fantastic...my memory is just, gone. It's hard and frustrating to try and work with this. I often forget stuff, but my new job is incredibly supportive.
I am finally looking forward to starting my 2013, as everything seemed to screech to a halt when I lost my job in January.
I miss my LJ friends, I have been reading, just doing much else.

Tags:

In Other Old News

I attended the Great Strides walk for CF last week, and it was a blast. I hung out with Eva's family who are BEYOND fucking delightful, AND I BEAT my fundraising goal! Double bonus.

after the walk I waited in an hour-long lineup for the most delicious burger I've ever had. Mr. Mike's had a tent set up for free bbq for all of the participating walkers. I also got myself to chat up Eva's sister about volunteering with CFVancouver, so I'm hoping to do some fun stuff coming up.
after my much anticipated burger I walked back to the skytrain station via this nice park

and decided to walk along the waterfront before I headed home

hello gelato and iced tea.

long time


Amazing how horrible I've gotten at LJ.
I'm here, I'm still reading.
So, working.....still a relief, but its getting old. Not the working, I live to work....just the pace at this Starbucks. its SO busy. I like to be busy, but I don't like multi-tasking 15 things at once, or being SO drained at the end of the day I can't do anything after work. My body has been giving me messages, it doesn't like working there. I like Starbucks, I just don't want in-your-face Starbucks....I may try to transfer to another cafe location, especially if they want me to in the drive-thru....that is far too fast-food for my pleasure.
in the meantime, I applied for a local cafe/bakery. I didn't get it because they needed someone to start right away.
I'm just letting the right thing come my way....I will get it when the time is right.
For now, I have benefits and some stability.
to be cont.....

 

Aim Please

Squeamish friends may stop here.

 

Yesterday I cleaned up poop. Ironically, we are not supposed to clean up poop, we call Hazmat and shut the bathroom down. I just thought it was some bad aim and a messy toilet so I started to clean it only to find a turd on the floor almost behind the toilet and then realized we were it of bathroom cleaner, AKA bleach.
The freaky part was that I wasn't even that grossed out. Just annoyed. REALLY
? You didn't hit the toilet REALLY?
But I also realize it could have been someone with physical disabilities or something. Ugh.
After I mostly cleaned it up and found that I couldn't properly sanitize the area I locked it up and told the shift supervisor to call Hazmat anyway.
I stayed 20 minutes past my shift end for that.
I soooo don't get paid enough for this. However I can't complain when it wasn't really a big deal for me to clean it, I think its the irony that I just DID it anyway that drives me nuts.

 

Despite actually LIKING my stupid job, I am annoyed by the chronic understaffing of the third busiest store in Canada. I kind of think that the base wage for this store should be higher simply because it is so crazy. I have to say, its EXHAUSTING. And all I'm doing is making coffee. its the constant pace, the buzz of stressful energy etc. that is so draining for everyone. All of the staff are wiped out when they end their shifts.
And yet, there is something that I really like about it. I really hope the clinic gets busy soon, so I can go back there full time. But I might just stay on with The 'bucks part time, just for "fun".

heeeeerp


oh, my.
This working stuff....after a few months of utter bumdom, which I've never done before, working five days a week feels rather...intense.
Good though, working makes me feel right.
I've been pretty tired, not just from getting up at A.M. timeslots but also because this cafe happens to be the third busiest in Canada. It even has a drive-thru...which sucks because the amount of multi tasking Starbucks requires its employees to do for drive-thru is a brain melter.
Despite feeling TIRED, I do kind of like it, the store manager is very nice and respectful. Most of the shift supervisors are great. Everyone makes a point to let me know that they appreciate my work...it makes me feel a little embarrassed for them...what kind of people are they used to working with?
We always seem to be horribly understaffed, which makes the fast pace even harder without an extra person to restock your supplies and keep the coffee in its proper brew time. I could see myself doing it part time in the future, hopefully when the clinic picks up enough to be full time.
Though Starbucks strikes me as a decent company to work for, I can't see myself making a career out of it. Store managers and District managers make great cash, but corporate positions have never felt very appealing to me. I'm not sure if this opinion could change in a few months but right now I still prefer to work with medical professionals.
I hope all is well for you folks in LJ land, I'm off to practice my highland dance!